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Wii Fit Trainer
WiiFitNewcomer
Information
Species Human
Homeworld Murica
Atlanta
Series Wii Fit
Affiliation Fitness Instructor
Alpha Bitch
Weight Watchers
Gender Female

Let's get fired up!

—Wii Fit Trainer

The Wii Fit Trainer is the most unexpected, yet welcome newcomer. She is a strong, independent yoga instructor, who fights opponents incorporating her knowledge of yoga poses and muscle endurance training.

She was one of the first three newcomers to be revealed for Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS along with Mega Man and Villager. People dislike her inclusion for many idiotic reasons, but don't hate the character itself, or at least they shouldn't.

Who Is Wii Fit Trainer? Edit

She is the trainer in Yoga and Muscle Workouts for the Wii Fit Series. She also has a male counterpart, but he is irrelevant. Still cute though.

Why Was She Chosen To Be In The Game? Edit

Sakurai: Do you know why I added Wii Fit Trainer?

Oprah: Excuse me?

Sakurai: It's obvious that some of us have a stigma to arouse. And we act like there's nothing wrong. But if we opened our eyes, will it get any harder?

These are the questions I pondered when considering adding Wii Fit Trainer. If anyone asks, I'll tell them we just devoured the sweat. Why would I care if they believe me or not?

Sakurai and Oprah on Wii Fit Trainer

Please

Sakurai being interviewed by Oprah.

In an interview with Opera Winfrey, an intoxicated Sakurai was interviewed about his involvement in Smash. After a few rants about his child and Iwata, Sakurai interrupted Oprah to tell her about why he included Wii Fit Trainer. The converstion was described as irrational and the interview was cut off due to the fact that Sakurai started to strip. Before the commercial break, Opera was heard shouting out loud profanities.

LifeEdit

Footage

A screenshot of the home video of Wii Fit Trainer's mother giving birth to her, utilizing an exotic yoga position. It should be noted the two look almost identical.

Wii Fit Trainer's specific birthdate is still debated to this day, but it is generally agreed she was born after The Yoga of Life event. The only evidence of Wii Fit Trainer's ancestors is an extremely rare home video of Wii Fit Trainer's mother giving birth to her. The mother died shortly after, with her child cradled in her arms, but not before naming her child and begging her child for forgiveness. It is unknown on what happened to the mother's corpse. The video itself can be found on many porn and fetish websites.

Wii Fit Trainer was then found by a young hippie couple who planned to raise the child as their own. They were killed in a tragic car accident involving a black conservative man who had held a grudge against the couple. The man was reported to have taken pity on Wii Fit Trainer, who was sent off to Atlanta, Georgia.

School

A young Wii Fit Trainer with her classmates, Sasha, Lakasa, Jerquan, and Nikonili.

Wii Fit Trainer enrolled in Hood Rat Elementary School, where she was often bullied and harrassed for her white skin. Wii Fit Trainer has descirbed her time there as "miserable". She partook in choir and art club during her time in elementary school, but never succeeded in either fields. However, she showed exceptional skill in physical education, being able to run a mile in less than two minutes and was able to contort her body in many abnormal shapes. This led to many sports managers coming down and visiting the campus to inspect the young trainer, but all of them left due to her skin color. When the school burned down, many suspected Wii Fit Trainer to be the culprit due to her outcast status, but she remained innocent because of an alibi which verified she was volunteering at the homeless shelter.

WiiFitYearbook

Wii Fit Trainer's senior yearbook photo.

Wii Fit Trainer then attended Ladasha High School, skipping middle school due to the school district not having a middle school in the area. Wii Fit Trainer experienced less racism during her time there, which was mostly due to the influx of white students coming in from the Civil War. During her high school career, Wii Fit Trainer joined the high school track team, basketball team, and softball team, bringing all teams to the district's championships. All three events were canceled however, due to the district's lack of funding. Wii Fit Trainer also exceeded in her academics, recieving honors in all of her classes.

Wii Fit Trainer made many friends in high school, including her best friend Lashonda, who was the one who encouraged Wii Fit Trainer to pursue her dreams. The two had a fall out during their senior year, due Lashonda's constant drug use and failing grades. Wii Fit Trainer decided to dedicate her senior quote to Lashonda, writing "talk shit, get fit".

MagezineAd

A photo of a local magazine ad for Wii Fit Trainer's failed business, Wii Fit.

Wii Fit Trainer had then decided to skip college and go straight into business at the advice of her chemisty teacher. She started a small time business, called Wii Fit, which sold exercise equipment and offered yoga classes. She had partnered up with longtime friend, King Dedede, who had experience in business and connected Wii Fit Trainer with many local companies.

In a now infamous magazine ad, Wii Fit Trainer posed with model Bowser advertising her services. However, the company's motto "talk shit, get fit" came under fire from multiple organizations, specifically One Million Moms. The phrase had been discouraged by Dedede, but Trainer insisted on using it as it was a personal dedication to her friend. The ad got both Wii Fit Trainer and her company blacklisted from the area. Trainer decided to close her business and move elsewhere.

Scandal

Wii Fit Trainer seen kissing Slender Man.

Wii Fit Trainer then experienced a moment of depression, experimenting with MDMA and performing many promiscious acts. Trainer started to travel to many places, before settling in Cave City, Arkansas. She had worked as a stripper during her stay there, where she befriended Samus Aran, a fellow coworker. The two were often performance partners and loaned each other money for drugs and alcohol.

While attending OrgyCon as a stripper, she was infamously pictued kissing Slender Man. Due to Samus's personal grudge against the man, she called a local religious cult, who also shared the same grudge, to chase Trainer out of town. Wii Fit Trainer, now living in a hotel somewhere in Little Rock, experiemented with more extreme drugs, like shit, due to the betrayal of her friend. Wii Fit Trainer was then kicked out of the hotel and was now some washed up slut. A local yoga instructor took pity on her and allowed her to live and work in her gym, under the circumstances that she sobered up. Trainer then lived here for the next couple years, keeping her promise. She had a small summer romance with a tourist named Villager. The young man and woman were deeply in love with each other, but Villager had recieved a call announcing his election as mayor in some unknown town, which later turned out to be a lie. Oblivious to the lie though, Villager had packed up and left town the following day, leaving Wii Fit Trainer heartbroken once again.

Letter

The life changing letter.

A few days afterwards, Wii Fit Trainer had walked into the gym where she found a letter waiting for her next to a yoga mat. The letter was a personal invite by Masahiro Sakurai to be a playable character in the next installment of Super Smash Brothers. The letter went on to explain that she was recommended by another invitee, Villager, who felt remorse for leaving Wii Fit Trainer behind. It also said they had free breakfast, warm blankets, and average pay. Despite knowing shit about the series, Wii Fit Trainer decidede to join the series to rejoin her lover and get them bands.

Internet Porn Edit

Wii Fit Trainer had over twenty porn pictures in less than thirty minutes of her reveal. She also had many shipping fansrt with Zero Suit Samus and the Villager in less than fourty minutes.

Meme Edit

Similar to the Villager, the Wii Fit Trainer was pictured as a killer after her reveal, probably due to her attacking other fighters while doing yoga. But her killing memes didn't go as far as the Villager's due to lack of sharp weapons.

  • The classic.
  • Burn baby burn, disco inferno!
  • Feel the pain!
  • She's the expert, listen to her.
  • Or will it?

GalleryEdit

Trivia Edit

  • People believe that she is a mannequin brought to life somehow.
  • She will do anything to stay fit. Anything. Excluding not staying fit.
  • She exercises in her sleep. Even when she dies, she will still exercise.

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