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The Great Hoe Down

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TooRatchet

An imaginary portrayal of what went down.

The Great Hoe Down is an altercation between GameFAQs users Ghasts and Shaneikua

The arguement was exhanged over several posts, where weaves were snatched and shade was thrown. The fight will forever remain unfinished due to outside forces interfering with it and ending the skirmish.

OriginEdit

Shaneikua orginally started a Ghirahim topic, where she claimed the demon should and shouldn't be included in the next installment of Smash, in hopes of luring out the local Ghirahim supporter.

Ghasts then commented a cryptic message towards Shaneikua, where she responded with an equally vague comment. This then lead to a full out verbal beatdown, with the two users throwing shade, snatching weaves, and making basic hoes sit down like there was no tomorrow.

TranscriptEdit

Ghasts: you dirty mother

Shaneikua: Splash some more mud on me later, bae.

Ghasts: Ummm you can excuse the f*** out of yourself. Real talk now honey. I don't know who you think you talking to but you best back off my ass before your ass find yourself getting your weave sewn back on, hon.

Shaneikua: Ew. You can't get none of this sweetie. Marked for sexual harassment and copyright infringement. Stop trying to talk like you about that life, you sorry ass basic.

Ghasts: Listen up, you ratchet ass hoe. We bout to get into now. You do not want me to come over there cause I'll knock you in your fake ass boobs so hard the plastic will fly out your mouth, stupid ass b****.

Shaneikua: Oh my goodness. I'm about to get into this hot ass mess.

Excuse you, you best get out of this board with your cheap ass weave, looking dumbass hoe. I will snatch it so fast off your sorry head, and I will choke you with it, hoe. Get the hell outta my topic. Get the hell outta this site. Get the hell outta my face before I stomp all over your pathetic existence.

Ghasts: Help me lord this slut does not know when to stop. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sure your fake ass boobs are gorgeous. Oh wait, you're too much of a poor b**** to get new boobs. I ain't got no weave honey, I'm beautiful and natural unlike your fake ass and burnt hair. Hon, check your privileges before you throw shade cause your dumb ass can't compete.

Shaneikua: Hun, we know you ain't about that life because you talk like a true basic. You just jealous cause everybody be thirsty for my gorgeous body and you be looking like a malnutritious sewer rat.

We know you got weave on because you dark as hell and your hair somehow be looking straight. Don't go pulling that Cherokee Indian mess because we know you all black and there's a nappy ass head underneath there. But it is kinda hard to tell because your weave so cheap cause it be looking like it be made out of recycled newspaper.

Oh my goodness, I'm about to get you good. Hold my weave. Hold my earrings. Hold my phone. I'm about to beat this this sorry hoe with her own shoes because I know she bought that junk at Payless. This stupid ass whore. You be looking like so crusty, the Lord needs to throw some lotion on you. How you gonna talk so much trash when your mouth so full of dick, you slutty ass hoe?

Ghasts: *sips Starbucks* *lowers shades* *sets down magazine* What? Um, what b****? You tryin me? You callin me out? Oh, no I'm not havin it hoe. Imma say this one more again, and I'll give you time to clean out your nasty sewage ears so you hear me right, hoe.

You done? K, let me tell you something. I ain't bout to have no b**** ass hoes tryna type up some stupid ass essays tryna tell me off. I ain't havin it honey. And let me tell you, you best back the f*** up fore I get my b****es up in here. Honey, they will tear your little slutty ass up before you even get a chance to get a hoe to hold your s***.

And I know you ain't just said I got nappy ass hair. My hair is as real as it gets, not greasy s*** like your ghetto ass. Hon, go back to the projects where you belong before you even try to step on my level again. And you telling me about Payless? Priceless. Mhmm, I saw you workin there, scrappin $3 an hour.

Lemme show you something, hoe. You see this rock on my finger? Yeah honey, my man got it for me. The power is too much for you, I know. You say you finna get a man, you ain't got s*** hon. Maybe when you ain't actin a fool you'll get one just as ratchet as you. I wouldn't get your hopes up though girl, the man for you Lemme point you in the direction of my dirt poor doorman cuz he's perf for you, honey. Don't get it twisted though, I'm not trying to be mean. I'm bein real, hon, and maybe you'll understand when you get off the pole like a cheap ass slut and get a real job.

Shaneikua: This is just precious. Starbucks? You a basic hoe. You be having it because it's true. Sorry that I'm sure as hell ain't sorry. My ears are clean, although I think they're being filled with nasty ass garbage cause I be hearing you speak.

Just because your dumbass can't go to school doesn't mean I can't type more than one sentence. And I think you need a life lesson before you go hurting yourself. All those men gang banging you do not count as your friends and sure as hell ain't doing nothing for you. I'm sure you know they can tear slutty asses up from experience. Don't be mad. I'm just looking out for poor sluts that can't handle themselves.

Keep telling yourself that sweetie. Your hair so nappy ain't no one can see through that hot ass mess. And I know. You a wealthy ass girl trying to be ghetto, but you ain't fooling anyone. Hun, I ain't working in no Payless, but I live that struggle unlike your slutty ass wasting your time in strip clubs. Too bad you gonna have to pay for all the disease you caused from speading your nasty ass love everywhere.

If we being real, why you lying and say you got a man? That would mean a man would think you cute, and ain't no damn man in the world gonna say that. And that plastic band you got from the cupcakes you stuff into your fat, greasy ass doesn't count as a rock. I know be you jealous of me because men be swarming all over me, but I'm gonna let you know that I keep myself clean unlike your stank ass. I hate it when basics don't keep themselves in check.

Screenshots of The Great Hoe DownEdit

AftermathEdit

After the last message, the topic died down for a while. Shaneikua then sent a message to Ghasts, urging her to come back and finish the fight. However, the super ratchet hoes came and modded Shaneikua for her posts, and Ghast wisely chose to leave the mess unfinished.

Song About The Great Hoe Down Edit

(Piano accompaniment, Rhythmic clapping)

I go to the Smash forums -

They really make me sick.

Now between two users they are asking me to pick!

I can't pick between them -

I really can't decide!

If I pick wrongly, Shaneikua burns my hide!

(Piano interlude, Rhythmic clapping)

Well I don't know that Ghasts guy -

I think he likes Pichu.

Sorry I don't know more, but that's the honest truth!

Maybe if you post more -

Just don't be a troll!

And don't post as much as that ol' Michaeloll!

(Piano interlude, Rhythmic clapping)

Shaneikua called me basic.

I don't know what that means.

Her vocab sounds like movies written by and for the teens.

Maybe I'm just crazy -

Maybe I'm not smart.

But reading her wiki page is a place to start!

(Piano interlude, Rhythmic clapping)

What does that Ghast guy like?

I think it's Nanocarp.

When I think of him, my mind goes blank just like a tarp.

Guess I can't pick sir Ghast -

Darn it what a shame.

Looks like when it's over, Shaneikua wins the game.

Sha-nei-kua wins the game!

Trivia Edit

  • The two users do not harbor any true hatred towards each other. Ghasts kinda does.
  • PT_Piranha wrote a song dedicated to this event.

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