Miko does the odd numbered chapters, Pat does the even ones.
Prologue - Meet RidleyEdit
hi my nam is Ridey and im a 248 yeer old drgun from spas. I liek kilin litel gurl's parnets becuase i swag. thers this 1 butch nams semes who keps tryin to kil me cuz i fukd her parnets then kild dem. she jus mad cuz i got swerg.
Chapter One - Sarkuri's MishenEdit
Sarkuri calld me ohn mobil. whow he now my numbar? I no ideas. Anywuy, he suys dat he makes me playblee if i go ondis myshoon fro him to git his majic haur jul and mor milk cuz his annouin teenage dater wats milk and he has non. He alsi sad dat getinn craptian falco is gud ideas since he says dat he mak new zero-f gam fro 2016 cus he lisenn to fans fo one tim.
So i pak me sthngs liek insruton buuks an fud and de semes traketr i hav so i keeps ways frm hr caus she lrgic to ma swerg.
I brek donwn mah dor and fli away to by cumpas since sarkuri say i need on. I meet mayro at da shup ans seehim buyy last cumpas. I mad an sipt fiyer. He scream and throws cumpas at me then i happiness. Mayro then gos bak to pawing wit toy hamma he has cauz he tinks he for ears oldd. I brekk doen dor of shup den leave.
Chapter Two - The Smash Mansion Edit
ok so mayreo wahs being a stopid and i lfet u no daty rite.? k so i was fliyen to da smosh manshit and i fundd it after 437 yer.
sakrui ws watin at teh d0r and sed "rodli ur heer i tot u wuld nvr find teh mansjit" i repeld "but u gav me cimpus" sakuri rebmered. "og yes i rmbdr bt dat comps wa brok" i wuz liek "oh." so he rapd me thn kiked me into teh loby of teh Sm3sh mnasin. "just dont be a fagit or i kil u kkk fordley>" i was scured cuz i dont liek die. "ye" i sed.
i wuz wakin thro the manshen becuz sikri was givn mi a toowr. i loked thro wundiw ad sw anuther hause in the discstgance. "hey sakurai was dat hause i the disatcnaer!?" i wsed. sakurai loked at me with scurd face. "das the hause wher ethe fagirts liv.!?'". he sed sodenlu.
al oif s a suden some gurl in soem gren drees came up to me with a sord. "whoa dat" I SEd to skarui.he sed sed "das lunk" i was liek "ohhh" i walkd upt o lunk and sed "ur pretty" he lokcd at me. "ima dod." i was shoked. "why u wer skurt den" lunk was med nao. "isa tonic." he sed. "wahsa tonek" i sord. lunk ran awe cuz she was med or somethin.
sakrui gavge me m y chrom and i went ensid. ther was bed n' shit u find in a rom. butt as he closd dor i saw a monkee come ourt of closest. "im expand dong and i liek raep u"
Chapter 3 - Expind Dang Edit
Eixpand dang strted but-fookun me, it hurt. I tel hum to staph cus hurts bot hi no lustn. I cri in pan.
den DK com in n shoot Expand dang nd sai 'now i rap u'. He den strts boot-fakin meh. iht fult greet.
DK den die cuz he hud esplosuv diorheo nd i sad. But den i rulise i gut no jul dat i nudded. so i fli out of mashing n brekk ciling nd sarkuri probs mad a me bu no ma publem naow. I fli to dessert. so mookh snad. to mookh snad. da snad bruke mah cumpas. I go 'noooooo' cuz i nedud cumpas to find jul.
Den expind dang cums n fuks meh in ma as agun. hurt stul.
I no liek it so i eated him nd he deded.
I dun hav to steel cumpas frum som1. bot no1 in dessert. so i needs to lev dessert 2 fnd som1. sos i fli in sky nd luuk fro ppl.
I den rumeember dat some1 tlod mi bout denosaur in furrest dat hus cumpas. so i fli to furrest to fnd deno wit cumpas.
wen i get der, i brun few tres cus lolswerg. den expind dung raps me agun cuz he funds it funno n gud. Bot i hat it n den i brun him 2 n eated hum agun n he deded agun agun.
den i hav to fund da deno nao. bot where ish deno in da furrestt maz? i see a geno dall n fullow it cuz da sung says 'fullow geno tru her' so geno suld led me ta deno ting.
Chapter Four - GOTTA GO FAST!!!!!Edit
so i wnt up 2 da dweno tung and it was slepin rly dep. so i piked it up and thrw it agints wal. it explod and deded. i stol its campis lolz.
deb da geeno dol cam up 2 mi and sed "dod wathc ot 4 blu hedghag." i tol him ok and he blew up. i lold and strtd runing bak to menshin cuz i dont want fli. i continu to run bt den i her spoky noses. i srug it of and say "just a bt" but rly it ws sumthing mch wurse. i run moar bt den i her it agen. "wtf" i sid, spokd ot uf mi mend. "fast" i herd da thing sed. "gota go fast" it sed agen.
it cam out of tres and boshes and i cud c it in cleer lite. it twas sanek the heghug. he cam up to mi and i was spokd. he hed haipur reelistek bluud cummin ot his eye. "goat go fest" he sayed. "no" i tuld hem. he lokd at me and cam cloosur. "go fast" he sed. den he trid to kil mi. i ran fast liek he sayed. he was ketchuping to mi so i had ran foostur. "fast" he sed teh hole tim.
i sw lite at end of tunel and as i exitd furrest, sanic deded of diabets. i lold and wnt bak to smush manshen becuz i #sweg. sakuri was der and he was eatin poop. "delushas" he sed as he swloed pop. "oh shit roldey wer u cam frim" he exclimd. "i was at furrest and sanic died of dibets!!!!@" sakuri was suprizd. "ok cool sotry rudli now go bak 2 ur rom" he tod me. i wnt back to my rom and sleped.
Chapter Five - Camun blu compuper Edit
Me was sleepun but dun i her "CUMUN BLO FILCON" nd i woeakes up. der is cptan flacon in beedrumm. I lieks "why u wak mi up", i mad. he ses dat i mad n siys "no tum to xplainn. cum wuth meh".
He soovs me into blow filcan nd rids uff tru wall. mor stoof skarui nuds to hav fixed. i tink he may kik me out soon.
Sos cuptin flaocjn drivs meh to a plac. it som kind of ceetey. i look round n se notinn bat till buldungss.
Cuptin falocn taks me to buldun dat shrot nd i ses cemras nd compuper screns. screns show smish ppl. Liek Mayro. he still huttin himslfd wit hammar, Lunk ish lowin her laun, nd dat Snaoic fullow not rully deded. he gust in huspital.
"su y u bring mii here." i quesionn.
He siys "cuz u moost fix copupmet or uls no mro pictr on scren.". I lik "ok" n i tryto fux it. but i brek it n spraks everywer.
Captun flican go carzy n filanc pawnsces evything. so i lev. copin falocn no newtic cuz he to buzy bing mad n sheit. i dunno wit way iz mazion frum her. so i esk rund fr direconss. ppl keep sayin 'go luft' n 'go up' n 'goku' so i dunno who ta trusts. cux uf dat, i just steel map furm som dud. he's liek "hay mah mup!" but imm like "rawr" n i brunrs hum nd he scremm n shit.
it suys masijng is uplift on cumpass so i goz upluft den fend masbing. skauri der n he mad.
"you no cum bak her until u fend wud to fux hols u mad" den he killed me and i deded but i back life cuz rewpowen lolswerg. i den gut sunt uuf to find wud.
Chapter Six - Sakri an RodleyEdit
so im lokin 4 wod. i find a skwirrel. he barfs out anoter skwriel. i ate it. lol. so i find teh forest. bt i cant stil find the wuds!!!!!!!!!!!1 wat? did u espcet wud 2 b in furest? ur stopid. i find wlof hoo is fixin his wolfen.
"wlof u no wher wud is?" i ask wlof.
"Dude, you're in a fucking forest. There's wood everywhere." wlof ofended me so i thrw his wolfen out of the earth.
"y u lie 2 me stoopid wud dusnt gro on tres!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" wlof gets agri an shit his pant. "What the fuck, dude? I've been working on that for weeks!" he hurt my feling no. "wlof stop bing a bich"
wlof flis away cuz he angri and i fund owt hes ben hoging al teh wuuuuuud. what an ass. i hat him. ok so now i go bak 2 manshen now. sarkari is hamering pikacho's hed and he ded. "wht u wan rodley" he sed. i told hm "i got wud." sakri had n orgy and came. over to me. "w0w0w0 i neded dis tanks rodley iv ben tring to hamer the wals back up but ther suoper skwishy" i loked ovr and teh wal and nothin was fixd. "das cuz u hamer pikacha sakri" i told sorc. "oh" he sed. he shit on pekechu and he cam back 2 lif. "fuk u sakri" pikechu sed aftr fli away on a greninzardtwo. "wheres wlof i ned 2 cut him becuz he ows me lunch moni" sakri expland. i told hm wlof flid away aftr i destroyeded his wolfin. sakri came.