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Solid Snake
Snake
Information
Species Human Clone Thing
Homeworld Some Kind of Earth With Many Boxes
Series Metal Gear
Affiliation Pretty Princess Contestant
Bombshell Booty Fitness Instructor
Gender Male

Kept you waiting, huh?

—Snake

Snake is a  combination of a spy, mercenary and special operations agent. He was a newcomer in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but people think he is cut from Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS game for many reasons.

Several people think he is replaced by either Pac-Man or Mega Man. Several people would actually prefer Simon Belmont over Snake as a Konami representative, but unfortunately that would require Sakurai to get off of Kojima's balls.

Contrary to popular belief, Snake is in Super Smash Bros 4. He's just hiding.

Why Snake Was Included In SmashEdit

Snake's creator, Kojima Walters, wanted his best friend forever Sakurai to put him in Melee. Sakurai accepted, but just like Sonic, he was not added due to time constraints. So he got added in Brawl.

Why Snake Was CutEdit

There are several reasons why he may be cut:

  • Simon Belmont is more wanted than Snake, as determined by totally unbiased polls on GameFAQs obviously representative of the entire Smash Bros community.
  • Realistic guns is a big no-no in Smash. Snake didn't use them in Brawl anyway, but this is still an argument for some reason. His Nikita doesn't count because REASONS.
  • Snake has less history with Nintendo compared to Sonic and Mega Man and Pac-Man. This didn't exactly stop him from getting into Brawl, but oh well.
  • Adding Snake was a one-time favor. We know this because we know every detail of Smash's development.
  • Luigi, Peach, Samus, Wii Fit Trainer, Lucas and Captain Falcon don't need more ass competition. This is unarguable.
  • He's too big. Snake has been proven to be larger than Ridley and K. Rool.
  • Snake's body is trying to rip off Captain Falcon's body. Just wait for the golden nipples.
  • He's not cartoony and kid friendly enough, putting aside some of the more questionable acts of our favorite Nintendo all-stars, such as Toon Link ruthlessly murdering a black man by stabbing the Master Sword through his brain and Samus destroying an entire planet, killing all life on it. Twice. But they can be forgiven since Toon Link has issues and Samus because tits.
  • He may raise up the rating of the game to E if included, like how Brawl was rated E. Oh wait, no it wasn't. But it was. But it wasn't. Snake's ass bumped it up to T. Mmm...
  • Metal Gear Solid V isn't being released for any Nintendo consoles. Sonic's last game before his Super Smash Bros. Brawl reveal was Sonic 06, which was also not on any Nintendo console, but that game was shit so it doesn't count. The Olympics with Mario happened, but no one cares. Metal Gear Solid 4 was also not on the Wii when Snake was included in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, so this is a too big and important deal that isn't inflated at all, but people still think Nintendo should get the game if they put Snake in because fair.
  • Pac-Man was announced at E3 and not him.
  • Hardly anyone would want him in if he was not begged his way in.
  • Sonic has had more games on Nintendo consoles in two years than Snake has had in twenty years, even though Snake has had 6 games on Nintendo consoles, but most people can't count good. Still more. But the Olympics subtracts a few because of how pussy they are. Snake was included into Smash before Sonic, so no one gives a fuck.
  • You think I'd lay down and die.
  • I'll cut you.
  • He probably doesn't even have a trophy, unlike Rayman
  • Dark Pit is the new edgy character for this game, and because snake was edgy, Sakurai had to cut snake so his precious baby didn't have any opponents in the edgyness competition.

Snake's AssEdit

Snake has one of the best asses in the game. It's awesomeness level is up there with Luigi, Falcon, Samus, Wii Fit Trainer, and Peach. People think that the only reason Sakurai agreed to put Snake in the game is that he could do wonders with his ass.

TriviaEdit

  • Snake is competing with Captain Falcon over Samus's affection.
  • You can not touch Snake's ass unless granted permission by the Colonel.

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