A fanfiction by Queen Shaneikua:

Chapter 1Edit

On a cold, lonely night in SmashFAQs, ChibiDialga sadly gazed out her window with the tears in her eyes showing up in its reflection. The tears would not stop flowing, for her anguish over Lucas’s exclusion was too much. She let out a sigh.

“I can’t live like this forever. I should go drink something.”

ChibiDialga got up and walked over to her enormous Dark Pit shaped fridge, dragging her Dialga slippers across the floor. She grabbed Dark Pit’s Staff, the handle of the fridge, and pulled it open. Thousands of cupcakes poured out of the fridge, crushing the poor blue-haired girl. She picked up one of the delicate pastries, each one resembling Lucas. Tears welled up in her eyes once again, as she remembered baking each one out of love in hopes of celebrating Lucas’s return. She recalled much happier times, like when she baked these cupcakes with her friend, Ghasts.

A loud thump echoed throughout her house, ChibiDialga flinching at the sudden noise. What could that possibly be? She grabs a nearby kitchen knife and slowly walks towards the thumping. She looks down the hallway, which looked a lot longer and scarier more than ever, and saw the door shaking. 

Chibi took a deep breath, ran towards the door, and swung it open. She was ready to fight whoever tried to kill her in the middle of the night, even if-

It was TEC-XX.

“Are you finished with those drawings yet, Chibi?” asked the earnest user.


“Those cosplay drawings. Are you finished with them?”

“W-what? No! Go home!” exclaimed ChibiDialga, slaming the door shut. She took a deep sigh, running her fingers through her blue ponytail, her face flustered, and her body sweating.

“Why am I so flustered?” the girl wondered. This Lucas thing was really getting to her. “Why won’t Sakurai just confirm him for DLC already?”

She glanced over to her sides and saw her phone and knew exactly what to do. She picked up the device and began to furiously type in some numbers, bringing the phone to her ears.


“Hi! Are you busy?” asked ChibiDialga.

“Chibi, it’s, like, one in the morning, and you don’t need me now,” replied the great Divine_shadow.

“Oh, but I do need you. Remember when we kissed? I needed you then, and I need you now too!”

“Fine,” grumbled Divine_Shadow, who promptly hung up after promising Chibi that he’ll hang out with her. Chibi then proceeded to call her other friend.


“You are LITERALLY a mother.”

“Ghasts? Quit messing around and come over. I need Lucas support!” begged Chibi.

“Close your account. But I’ll be right over after three stocking the entire GameFAQs community.” And with that, he hung up.

Chibi let out a sigh of relief. Her two best friends in the world were coming over to see her, where they would eat Lucas pastries all night and watch some good anime together. But something was still missing.

She put her phone back on the table and saw a small photo of her kissing a girl at some bar when she then knew exactly what she needed. The night she basically ate Meiko’s lips was the greatest night she ever had. She needed someone to do that for her again. But not like that awkward one night stand with Michaeloll after she misunderstood what a DIHSO was, something much more extreme.

That someone was right outside her door. Chibi jumped again as her front door was yanked open, pulling the cold air from outside into her cozy home. But standing in her doorway was certainly a hot man.

“I hate BEYONCE and all of her fans!” Radori shouted.

Chibi blinked, staring into her friend’s eyes. She was speechless, both in confusion and fear.

“What did you say?” Chibi asked.

“Nevermind. I’m just going to chill in here for a while,” Radori said, walking into the house uninvited. Chibi did a double take and ran to catch up with him as he walked into her kitchen.

“All these sad Lucas cupcakes remind me on how Dr. Mario is in this game,” said Radori.

“Shut up. Why are you even here?” said an exasperated Chibi.

“Ghasts told me he wanted to three stock me tonight, so I came over to beat his punk ass.”

“My hole is loose and needs to be closed, just like all of your accounts.” And right on time, Ghasts sashayed into the room, letting all the peasants know his power. Following him was Divine_Shadow.

Divine looked into Chibi’s eyes, his face blushing now and sweatdrops pouring down his forehead like thousands of Sea Bears falling down a cliff. He trembled as he took a step towards her, his heart beating with every step. She turned to look at him, her eyes growing to moe-like proportions and hearts glowing around her. Her face began to also glow a similar shade of scarlet.

“Hi,” said Divine_Shadow.

“Hi,” said ChibiDialga. “We are not having sex tonight, I want to try something new. Still haven’t gotten that through your head? Geez.”

“People tell me I give good head, you know,” counted Divine.

“I’m a girl.”

“I don’t care.”

“Shut up, you losers. I am hungry, thirsty, and horny, and someone needs to satisfy my needs before I leave today,” said Ghasts, clapping his hands together to call attention to himself.

Chibi looked around the room, excited. These three were certainly very viable men, and all of them were in her house. For her to do whatever she wanted with them. But only one of them good take her ass to bed tonight.

Chapter 2Edit

Sitting together on the couch, Chibi and Divine were watching the television. Its blue lighting engulfed the whole room, pulling all of their attention to Sakurai speaking on the screen.

“- who knows. No one likes fans. So, that’s why I cut the Ice Climbers in favor of my original character, Black Pit.” Sakurai says to Iwata.

“That’s very interesting and thoughtful. I would like to ask you about the whole Smash experience overall. I heard it was very stressful and like a call to arms. Your staff must be very handy. They are such an amazing thing. I wouldn't know what if I would do without them.”

“This is the stupidest show ever,” said Chibi as Villager’s lips met King Dedede’s. She glanced at her companion beside her, eyeing his defined jawline, toned body, and whatever was in those pants. She shuffled her hands across her lap, fidgeting her feet, and nervously looked around. She took a deep breath and looked directly at her friend, her lips quivering. As King Dedede grabbed Villager by her legs, Chibi decided it was time for her to make her move too.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” said Chibi. She put her hand on his knees, sharing an intense stare with Divine. She moved her delicate hands up to his crotch, and began rubbing on it as if she was kneading mold. It was very thick, and about to be wet too. His hands immediately went up to her wrist, stopping her from going forward. She gave him the pouty lips and continued with her kneading.

“You know, I’ve been drinking,” responded Divine, leaning in towards her lips. ”You're a liar.”

Divine dived down and bit her supple bottom lip. Chibi was surprised, but returned the favor. Their lips devoured, and Divine's tongue forced entry into her mouth. Her tongue wrapped around his.

In the middle of the lip sucking and saliva exchange, Divine grabbed her hand and moved it towards his crotch. “Please.”

There were only few things that could turn Chibi on, sexy Dark Pit art and the sound of pure, desperate lust. She loved hearing those words coming from Divine's perfect mouth and got to it immediately, unzipping his pants and sliding down his underwear. With his throbbing staff released, she gave it a few gentle rubs before placing it in her mouth.

Divine threw his head back as Chibi worked her magic, loving the way her tongue massaged his manhood. With her slobbering the lower part of his shaft, she completely engulfed the head and went deeper and deeper. Divine threw his hands on Chibi's shoulders as she worked harder and harder on the pulsating member, hoping to make him climax. He could feel it coming closer and closer.

“Call me a Sea Bear,” Divine commanded.

“What?” Chibi asked. “We're almost there.”

“Do it,” Divine commanded, tightening the grip on her shoulders and his knees slightly bending. Chibi look troubled. She wasn’t that much into foreplay, but as Divine’s panting got heavier in anticipation she knew she had to do something. 

“Oh, you naughty Sea Bear,” Chibi said, frowning on how awkward it sounded. “I'm gonna drive circles around you and punish you.”

Divine immediately stopped and stood up, with Chibi almost choking on the blessed rod and falling back at the sudden movement.

“I'm done. You just don't do it like you use to,” said Divine, the disappointment dripping in his tone. He quickly threw his clothes back on. “I just realized I'm drunk and hungry too, which means you're taking advantage of me. If my diva cup is full in the morning, you are going to jail.”

And with that, Divine wandered off into her kitchen. Chibi frowned as she watched her friend drunkenly fall face down in the cupcake pile, falling asleep right there. She got up and turned off the news, lost and confused. She could do it to him now, but MegaWentEvil would never let her live it down and it was kind of illegal. Her thirst will have to be quenched by someone else, although she was having trouble believing her beautiful body had been rejected.

“Ghasts? Radori?” shouted Chibi as she wandered past her shelves lined with Lucas figures. The two were nowhere to be seen, and there was stuff that nobody should be seeing in her house. She began to grow frantic, those two better not be looking at her special collection of Lucas –

And just when she though that, she heard noises coming from her bedroom. Irritated and thirsty, she immediately sprinted towards her room and kicked open the door. Inside, she caught Ghasts and Radori smashing, with her personal belongings trashed everywhere.

“Ugh! Do this outside! Get off my bed,” ordered the steamed girl as she shoved the two off her bed. “Go do this in the Guest Room or something!”

“That room is cheap,” countered Radori, dropping his GameCube controller to defend himself from Chibi throwing pillows at him.

“Yes, like your entire strategy in Smash,” Ghasts chimed in, smacking a Lucas shaped plush away from him.

“No, shut up Ghasts,” Radori said, before turning to Chibi. “We are going to play Smash here forever because your bedroom has the TV.”

“I can just move it outside, b-baka! Either way, someone has to stop playing Smash, because someone needs to have sex with me!” shouted Chibi. She shook her head, her veins popping out of her forehead in an anime-like fashion. She couldn’t believe she was left with these two as a last resort. Even someone like Toro would be better. 

“Oh. You thirsty whore.”

“Ghasts, excuse yourself,” Chibi said, looking down at pompous user.

Ghasts let out a long, deep exaggerated sigh, letting a few seconds of silence past in silence. Just before Chibi could speak, Ghasts took another deep breath. He slowly released his breath, taking his time to rub his temples. Seconds turned to minutes as he sat on the bed, reluctant to move.

“Ghasts, just move or lay down on the bed. Divine abandoned me and I need someone,” said Chibi.

“What happened to Divine?” Ghasts asked enunciating his words slowly, deliberately pausing and thinking between each syllable.

“What do you thi –“ Chibi started to say, before Ghasts cut her off.

“Ex. Freakin’. Scuse me? I am speaking.”

“I thought-“

“Stop. Just stop. You cannot have sex with me, you sultry vixen,” said Ghasts, holding up his hand.

“Then I will bang Radori. You just need to leave the room,” Chibi said, pointing toward the door. Ghasts simply looked back at the girl and raised his eyebrows.

“What kind of joke is this? It’s not very funny and you deserve to have your account closed for it,” Ghasts said.

“Ghasts, that is why I three stocked you every time we played today,” said Radori. Ghasts turned to look at him, his expression unamused. 

“Your Smash career must be very exhausting and difficult to endure,” said Ghasts.

“Uh, no. I love playing Smash, it’s –“

“I meant for the rest of us.”


“Let me ask, do you really think anyone would want to see you touch yourself in front of your single fan? How do you even feel about all the negative stuff people say about you?” asked Ghasts.

“Such as?”

“For example, you’re old.”

“That’s not even remotely –“

“You’re rude and weak.”

“That’s also not really – “

“You should move aside for the real master of Smash.”

“Who is even saying this?”

“How do you feel about this accurate assessment?”

Radori simply glared at Ghasts, who let out another childish sigh, rolling around on the bed. 

“Fine. I will leave for a couple of minutes for you two to have a quick bang, but I expect a little something for me and for someone to play Smash with me. Goodbye users not destined for greatness because they're not named Ghasts.” With that said, Ghasts strutted out of the room.

An awkward silence fell over the room, with the two users avoiding eye contact with each other.

“So. Do you really want to do this?” Chibi asked, all of the sudden feeling nervous.

Radori simply shrugged. “I don’t care. They say a hole is a hole, so I’m down.”

Chibi blushed at the boy’s indolence. She couldn’t believe someone could be just so casual about this. Still, in a way it was kind of a turn on. Free, wild sex without any feelings of attachment or commitment was what she needed right now.

“Anything to get me out of my Lucas funk,” replied Chibi. She strutted towards Radori, her hips swaying every step. She leaned forward, their foreheads touching. Their breaths in synch, she put her hand on his chest. He did the same.

“Wait.” Chibi stopped him and stood up straight.

“What’s wrong?” asked Radori, disappointed at the sudden break.

Chibi held a mischievous grin, eyeing a door at the opposite end of her room.

“Let’s go to the shower.”

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