New Donk City
It's-a me, Mario!
—Mario, in every fucking game, advertisement, store display and Nintendo-related dream ever
Oh fuck you, Luigi.
—Mario, when Luigi takes a piece of spaghetti off his overalls
So long, gay Bowser!
Nice of da princess to invite us over for a picnic, gay Luigi?
Mario, full name Mario Mario, is a sort of beast found in southern Italy and also the Mushroom Kingdom. Some have also been spotted in Brooklyn. Orignally native to Africa, many Marios stowed away on traders ships and found their way to new regions.
Marios are found in a wide variety of habitats, including cities, mountains, plains, the breats of hentai chicks, beyond the gates of madness, and Brooklyn.
Marios are known for visciously ripping apart and consuming anything and everything they come into contact with, especially if that thing is a turtle, a princesses vagina, or Luigi. They cause massive ecological devestation wherever they go, and Marios are known for causing natives to pray to be killed and sent to Hell, which would be a sweet relief from the torment they must face at the gloved hands of Marios. They're also known for eating Italian food, and have a love for toast and toasters. Their average height is just below Luigi's height, but they can grow up to twenty times that height if enough mushrooms are in their diet.
There have been many reported cases of destruction and demolition of properties done by Marios, the things they usually destroy are blocks of bricks, blocks with question-marks (?) on them, giant pipes that stick out of the ground with varying colours, families of innocent Koopas and Goombas and castles. If any of these items are in your possession, it is best to either hide them in some place Marios never look (which is under furniture), or to get rid of them as soon as possible by giving them to your arch nemisis as a gift.
Mario Sub-species Edit
Marios come in many varieties. These include, but are not limited to:
- 64 Mario "So long, gay Bowser!"
- Hotel Mario "Nice of da princess to invite us over for a picnic, gay Luigi?"
Despite their differences, their daily routines are almost identical. All of which possess a deepseeded hatred for all living material, and will consume and or kill anything if given the chance.
Add yourself or others to this list if you plan to main Mario.