Species Human
Homeworld Los Angeles
Series Bear Stearns Bravo
Affiliation Bear Stearns
Gender Male

Some people think that the market CAN'T THINK FOR ITSELF!!! Those are the same kind of goody-goody BEATNIKS who take their breakfast cereal with SOOOOY MILK, instead of BOILING WATER!!!

—Jackie Dalton

Jackie Dalton was the CEO of the investment bank Bear Stearns and a potential newcomer for Super Smash Bros 4.

Profile Edit

Anybody remember PronounciationBook? That Youtube channel that tells you how to pronounce words? Yeah, well one day last year, the channel went haywire and started a cryptic countdown. Everybody had some weird idea as to what it was, ranging from a continuation of the alternate reality game This is My Milwaukee, to viral marketing for the upcoming game Destiny, to the fucking apocalypse. But NOBODY predicted that the countdown would lead to ...this.

Bear Stearns Bravo00:44

Bear Stearns Bravo

...Yeah. Jackie Dalton, born on the Cinco de Mayo of 1932. He wanted to go into the wine business, but was banned from ever touching a glass of wine after a horrible incident involving wine. Wine. As punishment, he served in the army. During this time, he became a junior private, only to be discharged after using the army's aircraft. With his life in a dump, Jackie decided to go into the finance business. This would finally prove to be Jackie's calling, as he eventually became CEO of Bear Stearns. During this time, he accidentally caused, the "Belarus Incident" where he accidentally transferred all of Belgium's money to Belarus, and the Belorussians spent the money on small handbags.


Also, he was once on a mission involving him and a crew disguising themselves as caterers at a brasserie in the middle of a jungle. The crew took photographs of important documents in the brasserie until a minister found them, and they fled into the jungle. Also, Jackie is very grim when preparing Italian food.

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