I-am-a-giraffe photo
i-am-a-giraffe posing at a giraffe film festival in 2001
Registered On October 10, 2012
Karma Level 32: Legend
Current Status Fairly active
Gender Male
Nicknames and Alts StealthTwitter (Inactive)
i-am-a-giraffe is a giraffe who talks about Smash Bros. on GameFAQs for some reason. He is very tall and likes doing giraffe stuff. 

Smash BoardsEdit

i-am-a-giraffe can be found on the Smash Boards sharing his amazing giraffe wisdom with the GameFAQs community. This giraffe has been described as a "humour poster" and "insane" by fellow members of the board which is pretty accurate. He has been known to occasionally participate in serious discussions about the game when he's not telling Ghasts to close her account or questioning who Ridley is.

This peculiar creature has also been seen participating in Smash Bros. game shows where he amazes viewers with his creativity and wacky sense of humour. Also, he sometimes makes parody threads and those "Would you rather have [insert character name here] playable in SSB4 or..." polls which are really silly and just about on-topic.

Hobbies, interests and eating habitsEdit

This giraffe is a known believer in Captain Falcon who spends most of his day worshipping the Falcon Father and spreading his message. In his spare time he goes around rescuing children from wells, helping cats out of trees and shooting some hoops with his homies. He is also a well-documented peeping Tom and has been known to harass and/or tackle costumed mascots on sight.

His interests include:

  1. Talking about Captain Falcon.
  2. Making silly joke threads and polls that get one or two laughs at best.
  3. Giving poor advice to friends on purpose.
  4. Placing tiny hats on large animals.
  5. The colour green.

His eating habits are surprisingly diverse for an actual giraffe. He regularly eats leaves, grass as well as vines but he also likes fruit, KFC and human flesh.

Criminal HistoryEdit


Facial composite drawn by a police sketch artist

i-am-a-giraffe has committed a wide variety of offences over the past decade and still remains active in the criminal underworld. His previous convictions include armed robbery, operating a lemonade stand without a business license, kidnapping, inebriation, being too sexy, espionage, giraffe trafficking, conspiracy to pervert the course of justice, embezzlement and public urination. He has also been accused of wearing a trenchcoat and flashing random people in public parks late at night but they don't have any proof so I'm gonna keep doing it.

Mr. Giraffe is wanted by Interpol and any information about this fugitive's whereabouts should be passed on to the proper authorities. He is currently at large and is considered armed and dangerous.




i-am-a-giraffe with one of his many penguin lovers and a balloon

i-am-a-giraffe gets on really well with most penguins and has been known to attempt inter-breeding with them. He hopes that one day we will have penguin giraffes who are really really tall but also have amazing sliding abilities. His favourite penguin is Coach from Super Mario Galaxy who he sees as an ideal mate.


He also gets on really well with balloons.


Most dogs get on well with i-am-a-giraffe though he thinks they're a bunch of lazy idiots. He also says they are really smelly and have bad gas.


i-am-a-giraffe has a love/hate relationship with humans in that he loves eating them and hates how they think giraffes aren't the superior species. He allows them to live until they reach maximum deliciousness and tolerates their presence until then. 


Hippos are jerks.

True facts that are really true and stuffEdit

  • Is actually a giraffe.
  • He is really tall and is totally a giraffe.
  • Is in no way related to xgiraffes13x so stop mixing us up.
  • Can dunk a basketball and knows all the sex moves.
  • Actually grew a moustache like MIKE HAGGAR once.
  • Lives on Grimace Island where he works as a cherry picker.
  • Actively supports the Polar Bear from Ice Climber.
  • Is highly flammable.
  • Has yet to be convicted for indecent exposure and has an on-going streak of over 500 successful flashes. 
  • Genuinely doesn't know who Ridley is.

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