Conquest Story: The King and the Commoner was written between October 7th, 2014 at 11:02:51 PM EST and October 10th, 2014 at 2:00 AM EST. It was written for the "The King and the Commoner" Conquest match.
One day, King Bowser ate a baby that killed Dark Pit, and enraged the Villager, who marched up to Bowser's fire hydrant, which fell onto Villager's flaming ass, dousing the flames. "Ahhhhh... but then, Zero Suit..." Then he called Peach.
Ganondorf kicked in the door. "Where is the Kid Icarus bias in The Legend of Zelda? Need me some Palutena to trap in my doody doodoo ding dong, so don't tell Pit!" "That's what she said" said Villager, as he planted some trees, plotting his grand counterattack against the evil raccoons from Rosalina's Chaos Galaxy of Bowser and His Koopas.
*SLAM* Suddenly an interruption! It is him, the Koopa King, King Bowser! Ganondorf crashes the party! Then they got married. Villager disapproved. Ganondorf and Bowser had many babies. Bowser, Bowser, Bowser, Bowser, were their names.
They jumped on Ridley's back and told him that he was too big! "Ridley is love" he protested, as he flew to another dimension. The Villager followed close behind riding his little Gyroid, and his tiny fanbase hit the ignition switch causing Villager to kamikaze. "You wont be missed" said an old lady, suddenly eating many large kiwis. But then Ganondorf closed his bank account so that Bowser couldn't afford to open up the 9gag meme chest.
With Bowser's children kamikaze'd, the end was near. but suddenly Villager returned and dropped a bowling butt bomb onto the mother in law of Lucas and his Landmaster, which suffered some lag. But Jesus saved Bowser and his pink Landmaster, which rained death upon Snake, Wolf, and Lucas. A Landmaster battle ensued, with returning fighter Pichu battling Bowser and Villager. Pichu drove his Landmaster into the air, and but then he exploded into a Master Core and attacked our heroes, who exploded in turn, killing the Villager and affirming Bowser's victory. But the five finger discount got Bowser pregnant again.
*SLAM* suddenly it happens! Five thousand Doritos descend like confetti. Hooray! Bowser!