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Chunky Kong

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Chunky Kong
ChunkyNewcomer
Information
Species One hell of guy
Homeworld Donkey Kong Island
Series Donkey Kong
Affiliation Kong Family (Donkey Kong)
Bigfoot (Smash Bros.)
Guy (Hell)
Gender Post-Op Male

CHUNKY FREE NOW.

—Chunky Kong

In such a way as to put an end to this performance, he attends momentarily for the sake of fulfilling your amusement. And attending would be the latest and final individual belonging to the organization of the fourth letter of the basic modern Latin alphabet that represents the voiced alveolar or voiced dental plosive and the eleventh letter which represents the voiceless velar plosive. The maximum amount of force that this gorilla's muscles can exert against some form of resistance in a single effort is so intense that it would not provoke laughter in the eyes of the common viewer. In fact it is prone to striking immense amounts of terror in the hearts of water-dwelling reptiles of the subfamily Crocodylinae, causing them to call out in a rather frightened state for their female parental guardians responsible for laying the oval shaped organic vessels in which they hatched from. With the incredible ability of lifting large chunks of solid rock either compacted together from years of pressure or smoothened out by erosion in a manner that would be extremely difficult for the average ape, he proceeds to destroy them in a crumbling fashion, making such a feat appear to be a simple task when it is performed by him. Although he is a rather slow being in terms of physical speed, and also crippled with the inability to launch himself from the ground as high as his peers can due to his girth, he more than makes up for his shortcomings in his satanic nature. Interjection normally uttered in the form of a question to express the emotions that come with being surprised, in a state of disbelief, anger, or interest.

What Does He Do?Edit

I was at the Schaumburg Best Buy Smash Event today, and one of the matches I witnessed had Chunky Kong appear as an Assist Trophy, in which he did a ground pound and bananas rained down from on top of the screen. No one was underneath him when he pounded so I'm unsure of whether or not he does damage with that, but the bananas do light little hits before bouncing offscreen. I think it left a few peels behind as well.

—Some Guy on Smashboards

Effect on PeopleEdit

This apparently causes people to burst into laughter, with the rare side effects of laughter.

Is he Real?Edit

COxcJpH

Reported Chunky Kong sighting. (Credit: TheMindGamer)

Despite everyone waiting all day and searching with cameras, no one was able to come back with proof. Some people have said they saw him, although in some cases they were revealed to be (or outed themselves as) lying, while other, "credible" users (according to said users), claim to have seen him. At this point, he has been given the nickname "Bigfoot of the Boards".

TrailerEdit

Donkey Kong 64 (N64) - DK Rap Introduction03:58

Donkey Kong 64 (N64) - DK Rap Introduction

One HELL of a guy. Huh!

TriviaEdit

  • No one has ever captured footage of Chunky.
  • Someone asked a Nintendo rep whether Chunky is an Assist Trophy, and they said that they could neither confirm nor deny this. There's still hope, guys!
  • Another report of him popped up at Comic Con. Come on guys, I thought we were better than this! Why can't we just let this die already? It's been going on for far too long! 
  • No one has been able to capture his verse in the new version of the DK Rap on film, let alone even find it.

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