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Cap'n Falcon

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FALCON CRUNCH

THE ONLY CRUNCH THAT PACKS A PUNCH!

—Cap'n Falcon

Cap'n Falcon is a heavily requested character. People have recieved death threats because they didn't want him in. 


Who is Cap'n Falcon?Edit

Cap'n Falcon is the mascot for his grade-A cereal, Falcon Crunch. Falcon Crunch has been rated tenouttaten by The Cereal Eater, We the Cereal, and FUCK YEAH, Cereal.

OKAY, CAP'N FALCON, IT'S TENOUTTATEN! DON'T HURT ME!

—The Cereal Eater's complete and honest opinion

totes tenouttaten

—We the Cereal

tenouttaten FUCK YEAH

—FUCK YEAH, Cereal

Not quite tenouttaten

—A cereal reviewer's last words

TriviaEdit

  • HE ONCE PUNCHED THE TITANIC OUT OF THE SEA AND IT FLEW SO FAR IT CRUSHED HIS ENEMY'S HOUSE.
  • THIS GUY MAKES BRUCE LEE CRY IN PAIN
  • NO, NOT ONLY DOES HE KNOW WHY KIDS LOVE THE FUCK OUT OF CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH,
    • CAP'N FALCON BECAME THE LEADER OF CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH SQUARES, AND THREATENED TO FALCON PUNCH THE CRUNCH OUT OF THEM ALL. THEY GOT SO SCARED THEY STARTED EATING EACHOTHER.
      • AND THEY LIKED IT

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